anxiety, coffee, death, film, life, lucky, movies, music, poetry

… LUCKY …

This is not a review.  Who the fuck am I to review anything?  This is just some observation.

So.  When you quit drinking, you have to find a lot of ways to take up time in order to spend some time with your husband so that he does not work through the weekend.  For the last six weeks, we stay up at night watching NETFLIX, go to sleep, and on Saturday mornings we head down to Albuquerque.

It is in Albuquerque that I am obligated to take an 8 week educational course on addiction, that is given by a Dr. Some of the classes are pretty awesome really, and I enjoy the people and their perspectives.  It isn’t like AA though, where you go and you chat and you make friends and all that.  We are just in and out like the wind.

After the meeting we always pick some great place to go to, because it is not often that we get to go out and have a meal together.  We used to eat together all the time, but it was always at breweries, so it was bar food or food trucks.  I certainly don’t consider that “going out for a meal together.”  The last several weeks we have chosen Tia B’s La Waffleria.  The place always has a line far out beyond the door, and they have a nice front and back patio if you don’t want to be cramped inside.  This week I got something that did not even remotely include waffles or anything waffle like.  I don’t like sweet breakfasts.  My husband is one of those people who thinks that he can choose my breakfast as well as his own and get one sweet, one savory, and split them.  I’ll say it again.  I don’t like waffles.  They do have savory waffles there, but he doesn’t want those.  It has to be one dish piled with whipped cream and all that, and then an omelette.  Sorry buddy.  Not my thing.

Two weeks ago, the line was REALLY long, because of New Mexico’s largest yearly tourist disaster.  Balloon Fiesta.  Or as some like to call it, Buffoon Fiasco.  I had to use the restroom, so I rushed up passed the line and was stopped at the door by a man who looked at me and said, “I know you.”  We had an exchange for quite some time trying to figure out how we knew each other.  We never really found out, but we exchanged business cards.  We are both artists, he curates shows, and has invited me to be in a show that is going in throughout November/December.  Good thing my husband likes waffles!

I may also be involved in another holiday show soon, but these are topics way off the root of this post.  

Anyway, my husband usually spends every night after work, and every weekend, well … working.  Discovering that eventually this would probably bore me to the point where I went out to get a surrogate husband, he decided to take some time off from doing that.  (I think that this has lasted about 2 weeks, now he has taken on another temporary side job.) I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t care, though he refuses to believe that.  

Moving on, for the last 2 weekends, we spend one night each weekend going to the movies!  (At a theater that sells beer and wine and lets you bring it into the movie, we abstained.) This weekend I chose LUCKY.  For several reasons:

  • Directorial debut of John Carroll Lynch
  • The final performance of Harry Dean Stanton, who I so loved.
  • Plot: A 90-year-old atheist has outlived and out-smoked his contemporaries, and as he comes to terms with his own mortality, he searches for ever-elusive enlightenment. (Come on now, how awesome is that alone?!)
  • CAST (SERIOUSLY!  Check out this cast!)
    • Harry Dean Stanton as Lucky
    • David Lynch as Howard
    • Ron Livingston as Bobby Lawrence
    • Ed Begley Jr. as Dr. Christian Kneedler
    • Tom Skerritt as Fred
    • Beth Grant as Elaine
    • James Darren as Paulie
    • Barry Shabaka Henley as Joe
    • Yvonne Huff as Loretta
    • Hugo Armstrong as Vincent
    • Bertila Damas as Bibi
    • Ana Mercedes as Victoria
    • Amy Claire as Frances
    • Ulysses Olmedo as Juan Wayne

Now, before going to see this, I did not read any reviews.  I did not read any critiques of Stanton’s last performance.  Nothing.  I walked into this knowing that it must take place in the desert due to the cover photo, and the short synopsis:  “A 90-year-old atheist has outlived and out-smoked his contemporaries, and as he comes to terms with his own mortality, he searches for ever-elusive enlightenment.”

This was in fact the kind of movie I love.  Though I imagine that my husband was probably a little bored, because it was not some heady, hipster, pseudo-intellectual sci-fi.  (Don’t get me wrong, he does have some fantastic taste in movies.  But if it is some sci-fi that every hipster on FaceBook raves about, “Hey, let’s go see that.”) Oh yeah, and he is not a fan of the desert, especially since we live here.  Though it was awesome that Lucky pretty much lived off of a diet of coffee, with a lot of milk and a lot of sugar.

The reason that it is the kind of movie that I love. It is a beautiful character study.  It did not have to take place in the desert, though that did add a lot of emotionally beautiful elements due to the small town interactions, but it could have taken place anywhere.  It could have been beautifully done in New York City, though the whole tortoise storyline would have needed to be replaced by a cat or dog of something, the fiesta a rooftop party or a party in a park, and of course we would not get to see Mr. Harry Dean kickin’ it through the dust passed abandoned buildings and broken down cars in his jeans, plain shirt, and cowboy boots.  (Though I suppose we could have changed the outfit to polyester and stuck him in front of the images in the Good Times intro.) 

I’m not going to say much else about the movie and ruin it for anyone who has not seen it.  As I said, this is not a review.  I loved Harry Dean in “Paris, Texas,” another desert movie.  This movie seemed to be tailored to my love of Harry Dean.

I will post the trailer, as well as a clip (sadly not the whole scene) of a moment where Lucky sings at a backyard fiesta held for a 10 year old boy that was the son of the convenience store clerk that sold Lucky his daily cigarettes.  (A scene which made me cry.)  The 10 year old boy was named John.  Lucky liked to call him Juan Wayne.

The peppy music in the trailer was not part of the film.  The film was very quiet.  Not to say that there was no music, clearly there was.  Part of the irony of it all, is in a quote that displays in the trailer, “Harry Dean Stanton is a living legend.”  Sadly, public release was not until after his death.  Which also leads me to one of the most beautiful things for me about the film, I suppose a slight spoiler, in the movie, Lucky was alive from beginning to end.

Harry Dean Stanton died on September 15, 2017.  He was 91.  Just one year older than Lucky.

I thought that this movie was beautiful. 
My husband’s response afterwards, “I thought it was alright.”

Such a beautiful scene, I wish that the whole clip was available.

While having nothing to do with the movie, as soon as I saw the movie title listed on “Fandango,” a site that I hate to visit, (I actually miss moviefone), this song has been stuck in my head.  So, I decided to post the lyrics as well as the video.  It is a song off of my favorite ‘Til Tuesday album.  This is not my favorite song off the album, but you can easily see why I was reminded of it.  Some of the lyrics are surprisingly fitting actually.

And life, to be perfect.  To be lovely.  To be fucking great.  Has no need to be exciting.

I wish you believed in life
Believed in fate
Believed you were lucky
And worth the wait
‘Cause life could be lovely
Oh life could be fucking great

‘Til Tuesday Lyrics 

“(Believed You Were) Lucky”

So I guess I’ll give it up
Yeah I guess I will
What’s the use in pushing
When it’s all uphill

I can’t be appointed
Keeper of the flame
Without two to carry
It won’t burn the same
Oh, it seems obvious to me
But then again
Could be
You just never felt that way

I wish you believed in life
Believed in fate
Believed you were lucky
And worth the wait
‘Cause life could be lovely
Life could be so great

It gets so embarrassing
So I acquiesce
And I’ll change my mind again
You change your address
Oh, it seems logical to me
But then again
Could be I was simply not that smart

I wish you believed in life
Believed in fate
Believed you were lucky
And worth the wait
‘Cause life could be lovely
Life could be so great

There must be some other door that they are saving
Behind which my happiness lies
I won’t be wasting my words
To tell you hopes that I had –
We can just leave it alone for now

I wish you believed in life
Believed in fate
Believed you were lucky
And worth the wait
‘Cause life could be lovely
Oh life could be fucking great

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4 Comments on “… LUCKY …

  1. So enjoyed reading about this outing, and the way you linked it to so many other aspects of your reality right now. AND you posted a video with Aimee Mann singing…what’s NOT to love!

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